Waiting and Dating

You are ready to date when you don’t need to. If you feel that you “need” a date in order to be complete or fulfilled personally, you are not ready for dating. Needs involves demand and implies that there is something lacking in life. The opposite of need is choice which allows for a decision. A legitimate need eliminates choice.

Most people enter relationships with some sense of incompleteness or inadequacy. What they usually end up with is a weak 50-50 relationship. Neither person can give100% because they both are focusing on what they do not have, which they hope to find in the other person.

You are ready to date only to the extent that you feel whole and complete within yourself, apart from any other person (except God) When you regard dating as a matter of choice rather than necessity, you are ready. It is a matter of your ability to be happy and content whether you are with someone else or not.

Consider Adam. Before Eve came along, Adam was alone, but he was not lonely. Adam was so fulfilled within himself and so busy tending the garden and naming and caring for the birds and animals that he never felt the need or desire for a companion, this is called singleness or being single.

The time you are most prepared for dating is when you don’t need anyone to complete you, fulfil you or instill in you a sense of worth or purpose. You are ready to date when you have first learned to be single.

A truly single person is one who is complete physically, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually without dependence upon anyone else. They can thrive and prosper whether or not they are involved in a relationship. For such people a relationship is an added blessing: it is icing on the cake.

Paul said work to develop yourself fully as a single person; get completely lost in God today. Become so consumed by God that he will have to interrupt you to bring another person into your life.

Learn to be an asset first. You should be preoccupied with preparing yourself for whomever God is preparing for you.

The best place to find a godly person is on the road to God’s Kingdom.

Matthew 6:33. This means that, as we go along our way seeking the Kingdom of God, all these other things that we are concerned about will be added—drawn to us like a magnet. We won’t have to go looking for them.

Anyone who get involved with as a believer should be headed the way you are, and if both of you are on the same road, at the same approximate place, eventually you will run into each other. You won’t have to go looking. Stay on the road, focus on seeking God’s Kingdom and, sooner or later, someone of like mind and heart will approach and the two of you will be drawn together.

Intimacy is not an act. Intimacy is a state of existence in which both partners in a relationship trust the other more and more with their innermost thoughts. They trust each other more and more with their innermost wishes, dreams, and desires. They trust each other more and more with their innermost emotions. Intimacy, then, is the key to any successful relationship. True friendship is the foundation for all successful long-term relationships.

1. You are ready to date when you are fully aware of both the benefits and dangers of dating.
2. You are ready to date when you have worked out beforehand a clear set of guidelines and for behaviour based on God’s word. 
3. You are ready to date when you have resolved in your spirit that you will not lower or compromise those standards for any reason, even if it means losing dates. 
4. You are ready to date when you don’t have to. 
5. You are ready to date when you have first learned to be alone. 
6. A whole person has a healthy self-concept. 
7. A whole person has a clear and solid faith. 
8. A whole person grows his/her own roots with God. 
9. You should be preoccupied with preparing yourself for whomever God is preparing for you. 
10. Our first priority as believers is to seek the Kingdom and righteousness of God. 
11. Don’t ever become so preoccupied by who you want that you forget to be who you are. \
12. Unity of mind and thought—walking in agreement—is the kind of relationship believers must have in order to experience God’s power. 
13. Intimacy is a state of existence in which both partners in a relationship trust the other more and more with their innermost thoughts. 
14. The chief purpose of dating is to develop true intimacy—a oneness in spirit—between a man and a woman. 
15. True friendship—not casual acquaintance, but people who are joined together heart and soul—is the foundation for all successful long-term relationships.
    

By : Myles Munroe

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